This whore lives in me, this fat whore lives in me and steers me
She screams at me inside me, blows her wind of hatred, her devil wind inside me
it spins spins spins and doesn’t leave me enough air to scream
These whores live in me
GET THEM OUT OF ME
what is happening
they are not witches they are monsters
I saw the devil looking straight into my eyes
of a black, an impenetrable black
GOD IS THE DEVIL IN MY MOTHER’S EYES
I never want to laugh again, if I laugh I lie
I lie all the time
I wake up and lie instantly
a baby
baptized with semen
me searching for faith
searching for deep love
very deep
all the way down
at the bottom of me
using any tool
letting myself be penetrated
crucifixes of rough wood
baptized with semen
once twice three times
GOD IS THE DEVIL IN MY BAPTIZED MOTHER’S EYES
She told me
You will be a whore my daughter
you will be a slut
you will be an alcoholic
you will be good for nothing
you will be “good”
good only to be fucked
I became, mother, everything you had predicted
You were right
Mothers are always right
And people don’t like to see despair
They like a slightly dark style, black dyed hair and a devastated pout in photos
but they don’t like sincere stories in which the sun never shines
They like deadly things, they don’t like the mortuary
My ass is the most beautiful thing I have in my head
Until when
no one is young forever
the dark and the mortuary always comes to me first
triumphant
threatening
and fucks me in the ass
in what I have most beautiful
it fucks me and baptizes me
God is the devil in my mother’s eyes
I have seen it more than once.
How to live.
How to live?
I navigate alone, it is the most beautiful thing in my head after my ass.
Solitude.

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